The previous night in my leather sack on the dungeon floor my dreams were haunted by visions of amazing erotic cruelty as I imagined Madame Catarina breaking me with relentless physical and mental torture. My dreams were much stronger and harder than my previous imaginings and I had a feeling as if my mind had been emptied out and then replaced slightly altered. I awoke from my tormented dreams the following morning I knew something had fundamentally changed inside of me and I had entered another, deeper level of slavery.
As I made my way out of the dungeon I spotted Madame Catarina’s branding iron resting in its usual place. Of course I noticed it every day and often wondered how it would feel to be branded by my owner…apart from the obvious answer…which is painful! Only today was somehow different. I desperately wanted to feel the hot metal burn into my flesh and mark me as her property for ever. I imagined myself being strapped to the whipping bench and publicly branded as her property in front of her Mistress friends. I was slightly confused as I knew I was not a masochist at heart but something had changed. I tried to shake these feelings off as I carried out my duties but quite obviously given where I was and the nature of my duties this was impossible.
I will not go into details about my thoughts that day here…there is probably enough material for a couple of stream of consciousness, existentialist angst novels (at least but) suffice to say I was in a state of heightened awareness and my mind could not dwell on anything but Madame Catarina’s ownership of me and my slavery.
I spent the day in a daze in which I imagined Madame Catarina using every object I touched or saw to inflict pain on me…but it was more than this… I desperately wanted her to break me completely and make me totally subordinate to her will, I wanted her to force me into complete submission and total slavery.
I could and probably will go on in this vein…but not here … you will probably be relieved to know. As I said the feelings on that day could easily fill a couple of novels…probably unreadable…but novels nonetheless.
I am sure my inner turmoil had not gone unnoticed by my owner and Madame Catarina who treated me with a sort of amused concern occasionally shooting me a knowing smile. My mind and body were on fire with a nervous energy and I could not think about anything other than Madame Catarina’s ownership of me and my slavery.
As I busied myself with my chores Madame Catarina brought me a pile of her worn stockings and placing them in the centre of the saloon instructed me to check for any damaged ones and then hand wash all the others and organise drying them. My mind already working overtime felt like it was fit to burst!
As I washed and sorted Madame Catarina’s stockings my mind raced, I remembered the sensation of kissing Madame Catarina’s stockinged feet and the strange feelings of panic and bliss as her toes entered my mouth fully and began to choke me. My mind was in overdrive…
With the stockings washed and drying I returned to the saloon where Madame Catarina had left me a note instructing me to send her an e-mail outlining honestly how I had performed as her 24/7 slave. I sat down at my laptop and began to write honestly about my behaviour, my shortcomings, my mistakes and my annoying habits…it was a long list….I tried to think of my good points but couldn’t think of any so instead I tried to write about my feelings and how the previous weeks had changed me. I outlined how deeply I felt her ownership and how my only desire was submit completely and totally to her will in all things.
I wrote more honestly about these feelings than I could ever have spoken about them. I then added another item about my inability to discuss this sort of thing to the long list of my shortcomings. Having pressed send I waited. I am not sure what I did then…I think I mopped the floor…something that meant I did not have to stray too far away from the laptop in case of a reply.
Looking at my message I wondered what the reply would be. I kept looking at the long list of shortcomings and the non-existent list of positives. I should point out that I am British so listing positive traits runs against the national character…but in this case quite justified! I wondered if I had gone too far in expressing my feelings …after all they were not explicitly asked for.
I began to feel nauseous…what if Madame Catarina decided I was no longer a suitable slave? What if she were to banish me and never allow me to serve her again? I really did no feel at all well.
And then a message came.
I was to select a glass for sparkling wine, Madame Catarina’s ashtray and a cut glass jug and bowl set from a glass fronted cabinet and put them out on the salon table. I was to shower, put my collar back on and kneel down naked in front of the table and wait for my owner.
I stared in disbelief before running around excitedly following the instructions…my mind was in such a state I couldn’t even do this correctly but that is probably a different story. Needless to say before long I was kneeling naked apart from my collar in front of the saloon table awaiting my Mistress.
As I knelt there waiting it dawned on me that this was no game. Not that I had ever thought it was…but this was not fantasy, there were no safe words, no escape or return to vanilla life…this was reality. I had no idea what Madame Catarina had in mind for me but I knew I would submit to her willingly and completely. I wanted to embrace the torture, the pain, the whippings, degradation, humiliation and imprisonment…anything that strengthened her power over me and made me a more fitting and useful slave.
When Madame Catarina entered the room she was as ever radiant and beautiful. She walked towards me ordering me to straighten up and put my hands behind my back and asking if I had forgotten how to behave. I cringed deep inside for having been so stupid and slovenly. In her hands Madame Catarina held a bottle of sparkling wine, a pen and paper and the crystal jug and bowl on a tray. The last time I had seen the set it was empty but now it held a rich golden liquid.
Madame Catarina placed the items on the table and sat down. She took a cigarette and I dutifully lit it for her remembering that the ‘flame always goes to the cigarette’! For what seemed like an age Madame Catarina just sat staring at me before indicating that I should open the bottle of sparking wine. I did so carefully and poured her a glass and presented it to her. She took the glass and told me to pour myself a glass indicating the jug and bowl. I carefully poured the golden liquid from jug to bowl and returned to my position kneeling with my hands behind my back.
Madame Catarina then indicated the document on the table. I recognised it as a contract of ownership I had drafted some time ago at Madame Catarina’s request. I could see that she had added to it and signed it and all it required was my signature… My heart began to race. Madame Catarina handed me the pen and I signed immediately. I did not to read the contract because I knew her s ownership of me was total.
Madame Catarina raised her glass and I my bowl and as we toasted the contract I gazed into her eyes as I drank deep of her wonderful golden champagne. As I savoured the taste I could feel her power coursing through me and taking control. Smiling Madame Catarina urged me to drink more which I did so greedily and in that moment I became her wholly her property and her ownership was complete……….
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